This past weekend I attended my 3rd Women’s Retreat with my church at the Calvary Chapel Conference Center in Murrietta Hot Springs. The picture above is just a glimpse of the beauty I experienced while I was on the campus. There are a number of Hot Springs in additional to the beautiful lake.
The retreat last for three days and two nights and for me it’s really hard pulling away from my family and daily routine. The very first year I attended was when I made my personal connection with Christ. The second year I attended, the Lord really showed me the difference between my spirit and my flesh. Great things always happened when I attended my retreats and I knew every year was a must go!
This year was a little different for me. A couple weeks before the retreat, I started having panic attacks. I’ve been a long time sufferer of anxiety and have been on Zoloft for over 10 years. I can’t even remember the last time I had a panic attack so this was something that really threw me off. My panic attacks were causing me to fear things that I was doing just fine before. The only thing I could think was triggering these attacks was the enemy trying to keep me from what God had to teach me at my retreat.
I started to get very frustrated and kept asking the Lord why this was happening to me. After lots of prayer, I forced myself to go on my retreat. I knew there had to be something significant the Lord wanted to show me and the enemy wasn’t going to keep me from my God.
The theme of our retreat was “Grace” and we learned so much about it. I knew about grace but never really looked into how much grace God has given us. After hearing a few testimony’s, I was convicted about my anxiety. I’ve been counting on this one little pill to “save” me. I wasn’t allowing the Lord to work in my life.
I know that many need the medication due to an imbalance but I have never been tested for an imbalance, it’s always been assumed. Learning more about grace and my spirit, I came to the conclusion that I may be in a spiritual battle. There’s a spiritual battle that is fighting for our souls and I was counting on medication to fix it for me rather then allowing God to battle with me.
I have a doctor’s appt on Wednesday and will be requesting to be tested for low Seratonin levels. I may not even need the medication I’ve been on for over 10 years! I will be keeping everyone up to date on my progress.
“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” Isaiah 41:10